I was mercilessly drummed upside the head with two blog ideas almost simultaneously last night before bed and just figured, hey, I’ll just make it one glorious entry about the insanity that is the current state of the planet right now. Behold!

Upon reading this, I cringed so hard my cringe cringed – cringe², if you will. Is this what I sounded like to non-religious people back in the early 2000s? Eugh. Someone kill me now. This bright-eyed soul is Kim Robinson and she wrote a book called Heaven is REAL and FUN. Is it though? The Google Books summary says so.

Since 1988 the Holy Spirit has been taking me to Heaven. Jesus would show me various fun places and allowed me to do fun things. I asked, “Why was He showing me these places? Daddy / God said, “Because people think all they do here is float around wearing diapers, eating grapes, or doing nothing but bowing before Me.

God sure does sound like a simple-minded boomer if this mental diarrhea is any indication, I wonder why. Or does the uber genius creator of literally everything have to talk down to people even in the afterlife? And these are the people that accuse those on the left of the political spectrum of being mentally ill. Maybe, just maybe mental soundness instead depends entirely on your willingness to fill your head with gibberish about a peaceful, fun afterlife because you’re terrified you won’t get to do arts and crafts with Jesus for all of eternity or whatever. Except the bible tells you that you are there to worship and sing praises to God and very little else.

According to the Bible, the saved in heaven will worship God, serve Him, reign with Christ, and enjoy eternal fellowship in resurrected, glorious bodies free from sin, sorrow, or death. They will specifically be engaged in praising God, experiencing joy, and serving in capacities that are fulfilling rather than burdensome.

Wait, did she just call God “Daddy”?

Anyway, moving on, it’s the part in the red that worries me most because I know the bible says the saved do nothing but worship all day, but somewhere, someone convinced AI to regurgitate new-age Christian propaganda to me in lieu of scriptural truth. Even the Billy Graham site can’t fully corroborate this BS, and it really tries. Essentially, you’re going to sing and praise and work and toil for God and be happy about it or else. Besides, heaven is supposed to be mostly empty until the second coming etc. so that’s another derp for the Heaven is Fun crowd, thinking they’re going to die and go to a big rave or something. Who thinks up this crapola?

But Kim thinks you’re going to be cycling, balling and riding roller coasters (presumably while eating as much candy as you want and never ever vomiting). But Kim is stupid and she lives in the Cope Dimension, for revealed religion is the biggest copium source of all.

But not to be outdone by Ms. Robinson’s wet dreams about heavenly tetherball at Enoch’s place, Zohran Mamdani dropped his own nugget of cringe earlier this week. Check it out.

Listen man, you don’t have to sell the kids on how young and cool you are, you already won. Rambling about Bowser’s fat cat status at a political event is overkill, they already know you’re taxing the rich and stuff. But since you’re here, we could also say that the blue shell represents the power of the 1%.

Damn it, no. I mustn’t get sucked into the popular video game analogy! It’s just what they want.

It’s funny how he mentions Yoshi, since there is a long-running meme that states Yoshi committed tax fraud. Well, I think it’s funny.

While Mamdani may be more hip than Herman Cain, I can’t help but recall when Cain, during his presidential campaign, recited lyrics from a song taken from the Pokemon movie. This has a similar vibe, but with more stealing from the rich to give to the poor energy.

Either way, his comments about taxing the rich have gone over like a lead balloon in certain circles, but at least everyone can agree that the mayor of New York, maybe for the first time, knows what a video game is. He’s also a professional rapper, which could be a good thing or a bad thing (read: it’s a bad thing, please stop).

Tune in next time for more craziness than you can shake a stick at.

Exo