Recently, someone on Facebook who complained of trolls using the relatively new anonymous function disagreed with my claim that anonymity was the foundation of the internet and was around way before Facebook was even a thought in Zuckerberg’s CPU. Obviously they’re wrong and I’m right, but one thing we can agree on is that anonymity has its drawbacks, ie: it allows for some truly wretched behavior. While it’s true that people have become way too comfortable slinging insults under their real names on Facebook, there’s no cover for the real nasty stuff quite like calling yourself IntelligentPineapple647 (a real world example from a group to which I belong).

So who is the target of anonymous troll rage today? It’s a black actor who is playing a character that was always played by a white actor, because of course it is.

‘Harry Potter’ Series Star Paapa Essiedu Says He’s Received Death Threats Over Snape Casting: ‘I’ve Been Told, “Quit or I’ll Murder You”’

These stories have really cropped up over the years for some reason (hint: the reason is racism). White dudes seem to think this is a sign that they’re being replaced by people of color (brown and black being the most egregious of the colors). This is sort of an overreaction to a few casting decisions, because black people don’t even make up a quarter of the population.

As of 2022-2024, the U.S. population is approximately 58% White (non-Hispanic), 20% Hispanic/Latino, 12–13% Black or African American, and 6–7% Asian. The population is becoming more diverse, with the Hispanic population growing rapidly and the White population declining in total

Clearly it’s the Hispanics we have to worry about, but I thought they took our jobs 20 years ago. Oh wait, that was the Goobacks. Regardless, I think fragile people need to stop going viral every time a black actor gets hired, for their own sake. This happened with the 2023 remake of The Little Mermaid too, and because the film was a financial disappointment, critics of the casting thought it was their victory, and not because the movie just wasn’t very good. No. Angry white men review-bombed the teenage black girl’s mermaid movie and they went to bed that night proud of themselves. Eugh.

But this isn’t about those people, though there might be some crossover between that sadness and the harassment of the Harry Potter actor in recent weeks. Paapa Essiedu is a perfectly fine actor and he probably got the role through a good performance in an audition and was not automatically hired because of a DEI initiative as some people think. I’ve seen him act, he’s actually pretty good. Did anyone think Heath Ledger would make a good Joker? Absolutely not.

But I keep forgetting, because I’m not a racist, this isn’t about his acting. Then again, Harry Potter fans are not really normal in the conventional sense, they’re kind of feral about the Potterverse. I never cared for the series, it was after my time really, middle school wizards and silly magic words and all that. It’s entirely possible that some Potter nerds simply hate change through no fault of their own, but as a result of the clear and present autism.

But mostly it’s racists.

Funny story, someone told me recently that “racism is over. People are done being called racist.” That’s a cute but aggressively willful disregard for reality right there. While I’m certain racists are tired of being called racist, that doesn’t mean anything. It means less than nothing. They just want to be racist without the guilt that comes from hating other people based on something over which they have no control. You can’t just write it off as a woke buzzword like it’s not real. You’re sending death threats based entirely on the concept you’re pretending is not real!

But black Snape!

The casting director of what is sure to be a shitty TV experience anyway pissing in Potter fans’ butter beer isn’t the only news on the troll front. Trolls hate white people too, especially if they’re fat, gay or ugly. They’ll mercilessly harass people who just don’t quite have the look. Barry Keoghan is the one taking the beating this week, and apparently for no reason. No controversial statements, no arrests, no nothing.

“There’s a lot of hate online,” Keoghan said on SiriusXM’s The Morning Mash Up. “There’s a lot of abuse of how I look, and it’s kind of past the point of — you know, everyone goes through that… but it’s made me shy away. It’s made me really go inside myself, not want to attend places, not want to go outside.”

You’re telling me that guys (and you know it’s only guys) who live in their parents’ basements or attics and have never known the touch of a woman are criticizing another man’s looks. Kind of creepy, but he’s famous, he’s not a real person anyway. He’ll never read this stuff and even if he does, he’ll still be rich and I won’t and I hate that so I’ve justified my terrible behavior. Sure, I learned how to be kind and share as early as 5 years old, but those are just suggestions for children, they don’t apply to life – unless it’s me and then everyone should be nice to me because I deserve it.

See how that sounds? That’s how trolls sound to normal people. How do I know? Because I used to be one (a troll, not a normal person). They should take a long, hard look in the mirror and resolve to punch up, not down, and for god’s sake, if you’re still doing this shit in your 40s, please talk to a therapist.

Exo