I don’t get into politics too much here, but there’s just something to be said for the lengths Mike Johnson will go to not to answer a question. He’s slippery like a fish lathered in Dawn dish soap, and he uses weasel words to escape accountability, and he’s a big inspiration for politicians who want to get away with it. What is ‘it’? Mike Johnson couldn’t tell you, and he’ll think of a good reason not to either.

When asked about contentious comments or actions of his party or president, Johnson often states he did not see the interview, is not aware of the details, or that the issue is “not my lane.” (highlighted in weasel brown for good measure)

Mike Johnson is the little “see no evil” weasel of excuse-making. He feigns ignorance constantly but it’s as clear as the glasses on his face, he knows exactly which interview or comment or embarrassment you’re talking about, he just thinks if he pretends not to, everyone will believe him.

When asked about Trump saying it’s possible that some lawmakers should be executed, Weasel Johnson said he hadn’t see the full string of comments. Yeah but motherfucker, you know he said it, we all know he said it. That’s not just bad spin, that’s weaselly, I don’t care who you are. That’s like saying “The cake you were saving in the fridge is still there because I didn’t take the last bite.” You’re still a weasel with a belly full of shame cake. Somewhere out there even now, he’s smirking like the world’s biggest douchebag thinking up his next tepid non-answer or total avoidance of reality as we know it.

When asked if Congress should oversight Trump’s acceptance of luxury gifts, Johnson claimed it was “not [his] lane,” despite the House’s oversight responsibilities. This weasel will even avoid doing his job if it means he gets to bring shiny new excuses into the world.

Then there was his hot mic moment with Madeleine Dean where she said “the president is unhinged” and Johnson replied with “No, you!”. Okay what he actually said was “A lot of folks on your side are too”, which is the same thing. Also, did he just call Trump unhinged? And the video to which Dean alludes later in the conversation where she says, “That performance in front of the generals”, referring to a Trump speech – Johnson of course responds that he “didn’t see it”. Of course he didn’t. Why would we ever want someone who represents our government to know anything, see anything or do anything, ever?

Twat!

Furthermore, whenever Trump says anything bad about other countries including our loser allies, Mike Johnson excuses it as “frustration” or “the words that the president chose are not the ones that I would use”. No shit, at least Trump speaks his mind, which is more than I can say for Mike Johnson. I can’t think of a more pathetic excuse-maker for a recent president, and I’m including Trump’s first term in that assessment. Democrat and republican weasels of all stripes should take notes from the weasel god, for his pettiness is great and his excuses are many.

Exo